Monday, January 25, 2016

Golden Milk


I have trouble sleeping most nights. There are times when melatonin doesn't even work. However, I have had this "golden milk" for the last 3 nights and I have slept better than I can remember in a long time!! I sleep almost too good! It is definitely going to continue as a part of my bedtime routine.

Here's the recipe:

Makes 1 large or 2 small servings

2 cups non-dairy milk (I prefer unsweetened almond, coconut, or cashew milk)
1/2 teaspoon turmeric paste (recipe below)
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger (fresh may be used also)
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon coconut oil
1-2 teaspoons raw honey or 5 drops pure liquid stevia

Mix all ingredients in a small saucepan and gently heat over low heat. Whisk well to ensure you combine the paste, oil, and spices. Serve warm. Enjoy!

Turmeric Paste
1/4 cup turmeric powder (link posted below)
1/2 cup water
3/4 teaspoon black pepper

Mix the turmeric and water in a pan over low heat, stirring until a paste is formed. Once you have a paste, stir in the black pepper. Cool and store in a glass jar in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.


Thursday, January 21, 2016

Happiness

"So many of us choose our lives out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I'm telling you you can ask the universe for it. Put it out in the universe and work toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass." 
~Jim Carrey

I have been absent from the blogosphere for nearly a year, save for a recipe post.  So much has happened in the last year.  I hardly know where to begin.

I looked back at my January 1 post last year and was amazed to see that I did actually accomplish a goal or two...okay so maybe just one goal was met.  I closed on my first home on March 15th.  I was well on my way to achieving all those goals...until life took an incredible turn.

On April 1st, 2015, within the first hour of arriving at work, I was laid off and escorted out of the building.  I was one of more than 250,000 energy services employees who lost their job last year due to the downturn in oil prices.  My boyfriend and I (who reunited after being apart for 14 years) had just started living together two months earlier.  I am incredibly fortunate he was in a position to take care of us.  Had it not been for him and his generosity, I would have lost everything.  

I proceeded to look for another job outside the home for the next 7 months.  In that time and after more than 100 applications, including jobs for which I knew I was overqualified, I was afforded one interview...for a job I knew would not hire me because I was grossly overqualified.  I received only a handful of rejection emails and heard nothing from the rest.

I was secretly slipping into a depression I would not allow myself to voice out loud to myself, let alone anyone else.  I fought it at every turn.  I had been running two home businesses the whole time I worked outside the home.  I tried to turn my focus and energy to those, but there was another demon to face.

I had gained back 30lbs of what I had lost.  It showed.  I didn't feel like I had the right to coach others to healthier lives when I was sabotaging my own health.  I was embarrassed and ashamed to put myself out in my acting career.  I was noticeably heavier than I was in all my finished work and headshots.  I went into hiding for about 3 months.

I slowly started to reach out for help.  Deep down, I knew hiding would only compound the problem.  I needed help.  I needed to learn how to help myself again.  I had a few friends who came out to help me and never judged me.  It's funny how that is the one thing we fear, especially when we lead a public life. 

I started forcing myself to work my businesses again, and I slowly began to care about my own health again.  I started gaining confidence in who I am again, as I am right now, in the moment.  I knew I needed to love myself as I am, no matter how much I weigh or what size clothes I wear.  I was a decent actress before I gained the weight.  The number on the scale never determined my talent, nor did it determine whether or not people would allow me to coach them.

I started reaching out to people, strangers, again, being completely honest and transparent about my journey.  They still want the help even though I slipped up.  I am human.  I am not a machine without struggles as so many people had come to believe.  I did catch my regain before I gained back all the weight but it has been a struggle to get any of it back off.  

I had to take it one step at a time.  I started with exercise because, while I was back to some terrible eating habits, I still made more good choices than bad.  Being lazy, however, is inherent.  I have a horrible habit of being lazy or busying myself with things to the point I make excuses to not get my exercise done, in spite of the fact that there isn't one negative thing about it.

Once I was able to consistently workout at least 4 days a week, I began to put more focus on following my nutrition plan.  That has been only recently.  I am still struggling but I finally feel more like the me 2 years ago who didn't struggle nearly as often and felt strong mentally and it showed physically.

This is a very late night post for me.  I couldn't sleep because I had so much weighing on my heart and mind.  I needed to put out in the universe this one thing...in the hopes that I will inspire at least one person to make a leap of faith...

...I am happy...for the first time in my life, truly, contently, peacefully, happy.

My business is only just now starting to grow after really putting concerted, consistent effort into it for about a month.  I currently make less than $100 a month.

I am completely and utterly broke!  I am about $900 in the red, more than $12,000 in credit card and loan debt, a car note and mortgage to pay, and 2 months behind on several bills.

I failed to mention...my boyfriend works in the oil industry, too, and was laid off twice in 4 months....while I had about $1000 in total income from acting.  We had used up what little we had managed to save in the first layoff.

I say it again...I am happy!!

Why?

I am in an amazing and healthy relationship with a man I have loved for 15 years and could not be with for 14 years.

I have the most amazing, loving, generous, kind-hearted, intelligent kids who love me.

My boyfriend's kids don't hate me and I get along really well with their mother.

I do still own my home and my car.  We do still have food to eat and heat to keep us warm.

I have parents who love me, no matter how much they disagree with my path in life.

I have few but incredibly amazing and loyal friends.

And the best part...

...I now have work that I love!  I have put my heart and soul into my acting career and online health coaching business for the last month.  I stopped hiding and started caring.  I care about myself and my family.  I care about the health and well-being of others.  I care about the success of my fellow actors.  I get up excited to start my day and sometimes, I am so excited and passionate that I can't possibly allow it to end.  

I am happy...in all areas of my life.  While I was working outside the home, and acting and coaching, the latter 2 are all I wanted to do.  I had said so many times that I wished I could do them full-time.  The universe knew I would never have enough faith in myself to do what I am doing full-time, so it made the opportunity for me.  Getting laid off was the best thing that could have happened to me.  I was not happy in any job I have had for at least 10 years.  I always had the feeling that there was something more to life than punching a clock, building someone else's dream, and missing my own family, and that I was meant to do more with mine.

I am now living my life on my own terms and I get to help others do the same.  We do it simply by caring about others.  Who would not want to have a career that pays them both financially and spiritually?  I never knew it was possible until now.

I am...happy! :)