Tuesday, December 20, 2016


This year has been wrought full of changes.  With changes, come new struggles and challenges.  I started a new full-time job outside the home again.  While the steady income is much needed, I'm finding I struggle with not having the freedom in my day that working at home afforded me.  Two months after I began this job my boyfriend lost his.  His income was rather substantial and now he makes half what he once did.  We are struggling to manage our finances.  We both are struggling with weight gain and loss and being consistent to be our healthiest.

We lived in a travel trailer for 3 months.  The intent was to live in it until we saved enough to build our own home.  The estimated time frame was 2 years.  We needed the travel trailer anyway for the line of work he does.  It seemed like a solid idea in theory.  However, living with 4 shedding animals in less than 500 square feet takes its toll on humans and animals alike!  I found myself making excuses to not be in that trailer for as long as possible.  That meant eating out a lot.  Needless to say, we had to make a change before someone got hurt!

We are very fortunate to have some incredible friends.  My best friend is letting us live in the house they recently moved out of while they remodel it.  She is charging me next to nothing.  It has allowed us to save money over what we were spending in lot rent and storage facility rent.

The building of our own home has been put on hold indefinitely.  We need to recover from job loss and greatly reduce the debt we incurred to buy the trailer and to survive while we were living on a quarter of the income.

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."  We are definitely being tried in these times.  We will survive, though.  We firmly believe that.  This is an opportunity for me to practice the law of attraction and see our goals to fruition, in spite of temporary set backs.

I have 2 immediate goals for myself. I will be working on them simultaneously.  First, I must lose the 40 lbs I've gained in the last 2 years.  I've struggled with using "quick fix" methods because I'm desperate.  I want my lean, fit, strong body back.  I am also enduring a lot of joint pain due to the excess weight.  However, I know that those quick fixes are just that.  They don't last.  I also want to prove that consistency and good choices to work and are the best, long-term method.  It requires patience...something I know I have in short supply.  I will not deprive myself of foods I love.  I will simply log them and include them in my day, staying within in my calorie range and sticking to my macros as closely as possible.  This is what works for me at this point in time.

The next thing I will be working on is being a better actor.  I haven't been giving that skill nearly enough time and attention. In addition to working on material and practicing scene study and character development, I will be reading books recommended by casting director.  The one that is on my table right now is How to Avoid the Cutting Room Floor: An editor's advice for on-camera actors. I believe one cannot grow without continual learning.  Developing myself as a woman and as an actor is non-negotiable if I am to succeed.

That said, I will also be reading personal development books to grow my own character.  I'm starting with The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: Live Them and Reach Your Potential by Maxwell, John C.. I've read it before, a couple of time.  Each time I read it something new stands out to me and I learn more about myself and more about other people.  Personal development has helped me become more comfortable in my own skin and to be more forgiving of myself.

I am looking forward to the coming year.  All the changes that have happened this year are leading to great things, in spite of the challenges they have also brought.

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